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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293513">You Know What They Say About Guys With Big Hands, Right?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ant_king/pseuds/ant_king'>ant_king</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gay Panic, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Party, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, be responsible kidz!!, i.e there is none, less smut than the title suggests, more angst than the title suggests, or is it???, there is one (1) dick joke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:27:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,076</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ant_king/pseuds/ant_king</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Yours are just small." Tsukishima scoffs.</p><p>"Oh?" Yamaguchi cocks his head. "Why don't you prove it?"</p><p>"Tch. Give your hand here, then."</p><p> </p><p>Alternately: Two pining gays compare hand sizes and then proceed to panic about it for days.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>293</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Know What They Say About Guys With Big Hands, Right?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is rated t for the swearing, and the singular dick joke. this is the most explicit content you will ever get from me.</p><p>anyways this fic is just where i project onto yamaguchi a lot,, i would apologise to him,, but im not that sorry because i had fun writing this</p><p>hope you enjoy reading!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Your hands are so big, Tsukki." Yamaguchi breathes in awe. He doesn't mention how often he imagines those hands, folded softly over his own. 
  
  <span>. </span>
</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yours are just small." Tsukishima scoffs, and Yamaguchi is pulled out of his head, and the warmth of his cheeks is pushed aside in favour of listening to him. Yamaguchi thinks he'd push anything aside if it meant he got to hear Tsukishima talk for just a little bit longer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh?" Yamaguchi cocks his head, the picture of innocence. A stark contrast to the ghosts of Tsukishima's hands that skimmed over his arms and face so freely. "Why don't you prove it?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tch." Tsukishima held his hand out, his palm facing Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi sees the deep lines on it, and desperately wishes he could run his finger over them, to trace them so he'd never forget what Tsukishima's hands felt like. "Give your hand here then."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi tentatively places his palm over Tsukishima's, and represses a shudder when Tsukki folds his fingertips over Yamaguchi's, just to prove that he can. They were practically holding hands. Yamaguchi ached that this was the closest he would ever get to hand holding with Tsukishima, his best friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"See? You just have freakishly big hands!" Yamaguchi jokes to alleviate the tension that settled around them, seemingly emanating from their joined hands. His laugh doesn't reach his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I still maintain that you have small hands." Tsukishima crosses his arms and pretends to be upset, but Yamaguchi knows that he isn't because he never has been. They've known each other for so long, teasing like this doesn't really matter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hmm." Yamaguchi hummed. "Smaller than yours maybe." He says, and is rewarded with a rare smile from Tsukishima, even though he hasn't said anything funny. "What're you smiling at?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nothing." He mimes a shudder. "I think I've been spending too much time around Tanaka and Nishinoya, is all." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well now you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to tell me." Yamaguchi practically begs, but he doesn't mind. He was used to putting in the extra effort that getting Tsukishima to open up required. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well," Tsukishima begins, and Yamaguchi leans in, in anticipation. "No, it's too embarrassing." He blushes, and refuses to make eye contact. Yamaguchi thinks that this must be what he looks like during most of his conversations with Tsukishima.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Come on! I know basically everything about you, it can't be that bad." He brags, secure in the knowledge that he's the only person who can say that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Fine." Tsukishima huffs. "You know what they say about people with big hands." His delivery wasn't great, but Yamaguchi still wheezes with laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tsukki!" He cries out between gasps. "Was that a dick joke?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I told you it was embarrassing!" Yamaguchi loves that Tsukishima gets so red, so easily. Even the tips of his ears are tinged with pink. Yamaguchi then sobers up as the insinuation about Tsukishima's dick size catches up to him. Suddenly the joke is not so funny as it forces him to confront the age old debate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You have two wolves inside of you. Yamaguchi muses, which does nothing to help him keep a straight face in front of Tsukishima. One of them thinks Tsukishima Kei is </span>
  <em>
    <span>really fucking hot</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and the other resents the first one because </span>
  <em>
    <span>dude keep it in your pants that's your best friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You are gay. He would laugh at the fact he could only properly express how he felt through jokes, if it wasn't so sad, and if the reason for his internal turmoil wasn't sitting right in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you seriously thinking about my dick right now?" Tsukishima yelps, and he sounds offended, but Yamaguchi knows it's only to distract him from the blush that seems to have deepened underneath his glasses. Yamaguchi smiles softly. As if any amount of bravado could stop him from taking Tsukki in in his entirety. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're the one who brought it up!" He waves his hands around defensively. He wishes he was able to lie to Tsukishima, it would save him so much embarrassment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I suppose I did." This strikes Yamaguchi as odd for two reasons. First of all, Tsukishima's voice had softened considerably, and the abrupt change of tone was weird. Secondly, Tsukishima conceding? It was so unlikely that Kiyoko would probably agree to a date with Tanaka before it happened again. He realises that he probably freaked Tsukishima out by openly admitting that he thought about his dick. That was not usually something you would hear from your best friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry Tsukki." He mumbles dejectedly. He hopes that Tsukishima can pick up on the sincerity. After all, half the time he says those words is because he actually isn't sorry at all, and they're just another way to win an argument with Tsukishima. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima's head whips up so fast that Yamaguchi is briefly worried about his neck. "What're you sorry for?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi has heard those words so many times over the course of their friendship, but never before has the answer dried up in his throat like this. "I, uh-" He fumbles. He could never give Tsukki the real apology, the one about how his thoughts often strayed into non-platonic zones whenever he thought about them, and how he felt so guilty about it because friends shouldn't think about their friends like that. Especially when their friends don't like them back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I thought I made you uncomfortable." He settles for lamely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Never." Tsukishima breathes. He then all but claps a hand over his mouth in abject horror. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hmm?" Suddenly Yamaguchi has the upper hand, and everything feels okay again. When he teases Tsukki, he's in control of his words. He can shove everything he actually wants to say to the back of his mind, and focus all his energy on coming up with new quips to match Tsukishima's pace. "What was that again?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He delights in following the blush as it spreads to the back of Tsukishima's neck, but tears his eyes away before they can rove any lower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You heard what I said." Tsukishima grumbles, no doubt aware of the fact that he looks like he forgot sunscreen for several days in a row. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But I wanna hear it again!" Yamaguchi whines, grinning at the disgruntled look on Tsukishima's face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why?" Tsukishima asks, somewhat desperately, and Yamaguchi knows they've steered too far into forbidden territory. He bites back the "because I'm in love with you" that threatens to spill out, and it burns like acid on his tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Because we're friends!" He beams, as if that hateful sentence wasn't the reason for most of his suffering. Tsukishima looks dissatisfied with his answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay then." Is all he says. They then fall into a bordering-on-uncomfortable silence until Tsukishima gathers up his things, and leaves. Not daring to break the silence, Yamaguchi lay down on his bed. He doesn't even bother to take off his jeans. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stuck in the realm between dreams and waking, all he can do is think. He thinks about how he knows Tsukishima is gay, because they tell each other everything, well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so he can't even pretend that Tsukishima doesn't like him because he can't. Tsukishima doesn't like him because he's him. Because he's just a friend, because he's an ugly kid with ugly freckles and acne scars, and because no matter how much he tries to kid himself, he almost certainly isn't Tsukishima's type. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because Yamaguchi's brain hates him, it brings him a vision of Kuroo Tetsurou, the Nekoma captain, who managed to worm his way into Tsukki's life after mere days of their first training camp. Yamaguchi knows that Kuroo is handsome in the way that makes girls flock to him, and in the way that Yamaguchi definitely isn't. He knows it's petty to get so jealous over someone who Tsukishima has described as "a major pain in the ass" and "the worst human being ever oh god please keep him away from me". But the way that Tsukishima's nickname falls so easily from Kuroo's quirked lips makes him want to tear his hair out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He decides to pull on his headphones to distract himself, but he only feels worse when he realises that that is a very Tsukki-like thing to do, and when he remembers that his playlist consists of songs that either remind him of Tsukishima, or were recommended to him by Tsukishima. He smiles a little at the memory of lying on Tsukki's bed, one earphone in his left ear as Tsukishima shares his music with him, and how he nervously awaited Yamaguchi's opinion on each song, as if it mattered. Tsukishima was the first person (aside from his family) to ever act like what Yamaguchi thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>mattered</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He settles for Lemon Boy, by Cavetown, a song that falls in the "reminds him of Tsukki" category. He closes his eyes. He doesn't fall asleep, the memories just play themselves on the inside of his eyelids now, like the cruelest movie showing ever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's actually pretty easy, being nice to a bitter boy like him, so I got myself a citrus friend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks about how everyone thinks Tsukishima is a jackass, and how they're always surprised that they're friends. To be fair, it is Tsukishima's fault, since he acts like a jackass to most people. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yamaguchi is friends with Tsukishima? But he's so nice?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Don't you think Tsukishima looks like he would bully Yamaguchi instead? What a weird pair."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Tsukishima's such a dick, I don't know how Yamaguchi stands it." </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What they don't see, of course, is information that only Yamaguchi is privy to. Tsukishima's years of trust issues and subsequent inability to get close to people didn't just go away, and their judgemental eyes didn't see the way that Tsukishima protected him from bullies, or reassured him that he was enough, or how Tsukishima was actually a huge dork who liked to ramble about the possibility that all dinosaurs could have been feathered, because the feathers wouldn't show up in the fossils. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi wonders why Tsukishima puts up with him. He's just a pathetic idiot with low self esteem and a stupid crush on his best friend that he doesn't have the balls to resolve. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He falls asleep eventually. When he wakes, it's with Tsukishima's name on his tongue, but he doesn't remember the dream. He gets dressed, and prepares for another day of being Tsukishima's friend. It shouldn't be as taxing as he finds it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walks into morning practice with Tsukki at his side, and he tries not to think about how Tsukishima's large hand is mere centimetres from his own, and how he could reach out to grab it if he wasn't so afraid. His knuckles skim against Tsukishima's, and he yelps as if he's been shocked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima raises an eyebrow, but Yamaguchi is saved from what would have been an embarrassing explanation by Nishinoya, who burst into the room excitedly, followed by Tanaka. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We're gonna have a party at Ryu's place tomorrow!" He yells, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tanaka rubbed the back of his neck somewhat sheepishly, as he noticed Daichi keeping a close eye on their conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"My sister said she'll get us some alcohol!" He stage-whispers, and judging by the way Daichi pinches the bridge of his nose, he was definitely heard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Cool!" Hinata jumps in the air, which startles Kageyama, and causes Tsukishima to look irritated at the noise. Yamaguchi feels excited, because he's never been to a party before, well, a party like this anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We'll walk to mine after practice tomorrow." Tanaka grins, and with that, everyone begins practicing in earnest, with a new spring in their step for the first and second years, and new grey hairs for the third years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tomorrow comes quickly, and Yamaguchi feels excitement thrumming through his body. It's almost as electric as when he spends time with Tsukishima alone. He barely remembers any of his classes in his haste to make it to the end of the day. He wonders if this is how every day is for the volleyball obsessed freak duo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At last he got to practice, where he watched Tsukishima practice his blocks across the gym from where he practices his serves, and gets so distracted by Tsukishima's lithe form that he accidentally serves a ball right into Daichi's face. Even though he's apologising profusely to his captain, he's more focused on the feeling of Tsukki's eyes on him, and how he just knows that he's smirking right now. He scolds himself for his mistake after, and serves three service aces in a row, pointedly not thinking about Tsukishima. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, practice ends and the first and second years file out of the gym, and follow Tanaka to his house. The third years all declined their invitations for different reasons. Daichi said he couldn't condone underage drinking as their captain, so he just decided to pretend he didn't know about it. Suga bowed out to keep Daichi company, and Asahi couldn't come because he was supposed to have dinner at his Aunt's house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Tanaka's living room is extremely comfortable, as they have cushions everywhere, so they all sit themselves in a circle, some draping themselves over the couch, others crossing their legs on cushions on the floor. Yamaguchi ends up cross-legged next to Tsukishima. Due to Tsukki's gangly legs, their knees end up touching. Yamaguchi can feel Tsukishima's warmth even through that small point of contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's funny, that Tsukishima's so warm. His personality leads you to think that he'd be a cold person, when really his hands burn like furnaces even when there's snow falling outside. Yamaguchi, however, does run naturally cold, and takes great delight in sticking his cold hands on the back of Tsukishima's neck, both to get a reaction out of him, and to warm himself up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi is brought back to reality by Nishinoya leaning over, and pouring something clear into his plastic cup. He doesn't know what it is, but he suspects it's vodka. He wouldn't know, as he's never drank before. He hopes it tastes better than it smells. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he can move to raise his cup to his lips, Nishinoya is back, this time with a beverage he recognises. Noya pours the cola into Yamaguchi's vodka, and moves on to whoever is on Yamaguchi's other side. He was so caught up in Tsukishima that he didn't even register anyone else. He sees other people beginning to drink, so he takes a tentative sip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The coke does not mask the medicinal taste of the vodka, and it burns down Yamaguchi's throat, leaving warmth in its wake. He wonders if this is how Tsukishima feels all the time, with his hands that radiate heat, and his neck that serves as Yamaguchi's personal hand warmer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Three drinks later, and Yamaguchi is beginning to feel a bit... </span>
  <em>
    <span>floaty</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Everything seems just a little out of reach, and he feels like he might float up to the ceiling if it weren't for Tsukishima's knee tethering him to this reality. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, something breaks through the fuzzy barrier that the alcohol has put up, as Hinata yells "Let's play truth or dare!" He's met with a few appreciative whoops, until Tsukishima pipes up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Laaaame." He slurs, and Yamaguchi giggles at the fact that Tsukishima is a lightweight. He's still on his first drink, but he looks how Yamaguchi feels on his fourth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not lame, Stingyshima!" Hinata yells. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Dares are too much effort. Let's play never have I ever instead." Tsukishima suggests. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata relents, and they all listen attentively for someone to start the game. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Does everybody know the rules?" Ennoshita asks, ever the responsible captain candidate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't." Yamaguchi pouts, and he isn't sure if Ennoshita laughs at him or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay, someone says something that they've never done, and if you have, you take a drink." Ennoshita explains. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How do you win?" Kageyama asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Dumbass Kageyama! You just play until you get bored! There is no winning in never have I ever!" Yamaguchi laughs along with the rest of them, but he's just sober enough to acknowledge that while you can't win at never have I ever, you can definitely lose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone eventually falls silent again, ready for the game to start. Since no one else takes the initiative, Tanaka is the one to start. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Never have I ever, had a girlfriend." He says, wistfully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata drinks, and Noya raises his cup, but lowers it when Tanaka loudly announces that it doesn't count if it was when you were five. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hinata is immediately bombarded with questions, all of which he declines, and even Tsukishima looks mildly interested in the proceedings, which is saying something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Yamaguchi did know that Tsukishima had never had a girlfriend, for obvious reasons, he did wonder if Tsukishima had ever had a boyfriend. Once again, the stupid face of Kuroo Tetsurou worms its way into his head, and Yamaguchi scowls at the mental image of him pulling Tsukki away under the pretense of practicing blocks together, when really he would drag him into an empty gym and just kiss him leisurely. Jealousy coiled in Yamaguchi's stomach, and he held onto the hope that if anything had happened between them, Tsukishima would have told him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nishinoya goes next in their game, since he sits next to Tanaka. "Never have I ever..." He pauses to think. "Had a crush on someone at Karasuno."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To everyone's surprise, everyone drinks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What about Kiyoko, bro?" Tanaka asks him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nah, that doesn't count. Like, I think she's super pretty but it's not an actual crush or anything." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Belatedly, Yamaguchi realises that everyone drinking means that Tsukishima took a drink as well. He didn't even have time to sort out how he felt about that before it was Tsukishima's turn to speak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Never have I ever..." He pauses like Noya did, but it wasn't to think. He stares directly at Kageyama, and Yamaguchi registers that this is going to be a targeted round. "...Had a crush on an upperclassman from middle school."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a second, no one moves, and Yamaguchi wonders if it's possible that Tsukishima got something wrong, but sure enough, Kageyama picks up his cup, and takes a sip, resentfully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Who?!" Hinata practically explodes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It was a very brief thing, it was only before I realised he was a dick-" Kageyama scrambled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wait, "he"?!!" The pieces slot together for Yamaguchi seconds before they do for Hinata. "You had a crush on the grand king!?" His volume is slightly too high, and it makes his bewilderment outright comical, and Yamaguchi collapses into Tsukishima, laughing, just as Tsukishima collapses into him for the same reason. They balance each other out, and they manage to stay somewhat upright, pressed flush against each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, once everyone's had enough of laughing at Kageyama's beet red face, and Hinata's stunned babbling, it's Yamaguchi's turn to speak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Never have I ever kissed a boy." He says, hoping fervently that Tsukishima doesn't drink. It's already enough that he has a crush, Yamaguchi doesn't know if he could take the news that Tsukishima's already had his first kiss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waits with bated breath, and the seconds before anyone picks up their cups feels like an eternity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People start to drink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima doesn't touch his cup. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi sighs with relief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kageyama and Nishinoya were the ones who drank that round. Kageyama refused to answer any questions, while Noya proudly bragged about how he made out with Nekoma's libero, Yaku, at one of their training camps. Tsukishima remarks that he could have gone without the rather graphic description, and Yamaguchi laughs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This marks the end of their short-lived game of never have I ever, as once they settle down, Hinata shoots up with alarm when he notices the time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Crap! I told my mum I'd be home before midnight!" Yamaguchi looks at the clock. It's eleven fifty. It didn't feel like so many hours had passed, but then again, all of his time with Tsukishima felt like that. It probably wasn't to do with the alcohol. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi stands up, and he sways unpleasantly. He feels much less coordinated than he did when he was sitting down. "I should get going too. I don't want my parents to worry."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima stands up at this. "I'll walk with you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They leave the party, and it's cold outside, but the residual warmth from the vodka still thrums pleasantly in his chest, so Yamaguchi doesn't mind. He assumed that Tsukishima would walk with him until the point at which their paths home diverged, so he was surprised when Tsukishima turned down Yamaguchi's street. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to walk me to my door, you know." Yamaguchi laughs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're drunk." Tsukishima states, as if that explains everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So are you, you lightweight." He teases, because he can't help it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am not, shut up Yamaguchi." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry Tsukki." This time, he doesn't mean it at all, and it shows in the gleeful grin on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll see you tomorrow?" Tsukishima asks, almost hopefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tomorrow's a Saturday, you idiot." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh." The small downturn of Tsukishima's lips almost rends Yamaguchi's heart in two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We can hang out, if you'd like?" Yamaguchi suggests, and Tsukishima visibly brightens up. "Text me when you get home!" He calls after Tsukishima's retreating back. He doesn't get an answer, but he knows that he will. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He's just getting into bed when the text from Tsukishima comes in. His phone beeps, and he scrambles towards it at a speed that would have been embarrassing if anyone else had seen it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tsukki: got home safe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tadashi: okok!!! gn sleep tight &lt;333</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tsukki: …</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tsukki: &lt;3</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tadashi: :0000</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as he wanted to, Yamaguchi found himself unable to sleep, so he picked his phone back up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: heeeey sugaa</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: I really really need ur help</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: are you drunk???</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: if daichi is reading this over ur shoulder, then no</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: are you home safe????</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: ur not my mum</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: but yeah I am</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: oh thank god </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: it's not an actual emergency</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: more like a spicy crisis</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: do tell</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: basically</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: we played never have I ever</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: and tsukishima admitted he has a crush on someone @ school</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: but he didn't say who</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: oh wait</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: u don't know that I love him</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: that's why this is a big deal</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: well I'm glad you told me</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: WAIT</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: I just fucking outed myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: oops </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: sober me is gonna be so mad oh no</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: even drunk me thinks this is a bad idea</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: yikes yikes yikes yikes</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: YAMAGUCHI</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: ye???</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: I'm not going to tell anyone, so you don't need to worry about that</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: and I'm not going to be an ass about it either</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: if it makes you feel better, I'm gay too</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: oh shit????</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: it does actually,, thank u suga</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: so about this tsukishima thing</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: yeah I'm super fucking jealous and now I can't sleep</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: well, he didn't say who it was, right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: well no</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: so it could be you!! don't count urself out without concrete evidence!!!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as he was about to reply to Suga, another message came in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tsukki: can't wait to see you tomorrow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tadashi: same same!!! it's gonna b fun :))</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then pondered his response to Suga, his drunk brain taking much longer than usual to come up with anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tadashi: so u think I should confess to him then??? :000</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waits for Suga's next message for what feels like eons. Then a series of messages come in at once, his screen blinking with notifications rapidly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tsukki: ?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tsukki: confess to who?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>tsukki: tadashi?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He is unable to breathe when he realises what he's done. His hands tremble as he ignores the messages from Tsukishima, and goes to text Suga, for real this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: SUGA HELP I FUCKED UP</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: [sent a screenshot]</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: uh oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: YEAH UH FUCKING OH</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: it could be worse</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: HOWW???</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: you could have accidentally confessed to him</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: yeah that would be pretty bad</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: BUT THIS IS STILL BAD</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: he's gonna ask me about it,, and I can't lie to him</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: have you considered telling the truth???</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: yes but I will not be doing that</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: daichi says you should confess</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: HE'S BEEN READING THIS</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: yes but I swore him to secrecy</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: he won't tell anyone</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: besides, you should be grateful, he's giving you good advice</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: no!!!!! it's terrible advice!!!! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: what could go wrong??</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: I could lose my friendship of 10+ years and get rejected!!!!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: first of all you don't know that</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: second of all tsukishima wouldn't stop being your friend over this</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: you forget that your relationship means just as much to him as it does to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: he will fight tooth and nail to stand by your side</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: ya as friends</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: yamaguchi I will say this only once</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: friends do not feel as deeply about each other as tsukishima feels for you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: go for it!!!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: I </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: I need to sleep on it</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: ok gn!!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: you too!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>yamaguchi: and thank u for helping me</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>suga: it's really no trouble</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi tosses his phone as far away from himself as physically possible, and falls asleep, troubled by the continual beeping of his phone, which shows that Tsukishima hadn't given up on contacting him yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wakes up on Saturday with a pounding head, to the repeated chiming of the doorbell. He hears his mother open the door. She chirpily greets whoever it is, and then Yamaguchi hears footsteps coming towards his room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only then does he remember that he's supposed to hang out with Tsukki today. Which means that the person approaching his room is probably-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door opens, and Yamaguchi has to crane his neck to catch sight of Tsukishima's blond head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Dumbass, did you forget we were hanging out today?" He asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"N-no!" Yamaguchi stammers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Bullshit, you aren't even dressed." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ugh, I overslept and I think I have a hangover."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima wrinkles his nose sympathetically. "Do you need anything?" He asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I just wanna lie in bed all day and never get out." Yamaguchi lies back on his pillows, groaning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay, we can do that." Tsukishima said. He seems to be hovering on the edge of saying something else, but he decides against it in favour of sliding under the covers next to Yamaguchi. Without thinking, Yamaguchi snuggles against Tsukishima automatically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mmm. You're so warm." He smiles up at Tsukishima. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And you're fucking freezing, you heat leech." Despite his words, Tsukishima made no effort to move Yamaguchi off him, so Yamaguchi didn't feel the need to move. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns his head into Tsukishima's chest, and mumbles. "I know you want to ask me about the text I sent." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah. I was trying to be nice because you had a hangover." Tsukishima says awkwardly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi snickers. "That's kind of you, but can we just get it over with?" Fear creeps into his voice, and he's sure that Tsukishima notices it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Who was the text meant for?" Tsukishima asks, and Yamaguchi is grateful that he skirts around the hardest question for now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Suga. I was asking him for advice." He answers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh." Tsukishima says, in a quiet voice. "Why didn't you ask me?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Because I couldn't, Tsukki, please ask something else."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But why couldn't you?" Tsukishima presses the issue. "We're best friends, aren't we?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words pierce Yamaguchi's skin like knives, each one tearing further into his flesh than the last. Tsukishima has no idea, he has no idea that Yamaguchi has held "because we're friends" as the central tenet of his life for </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He has no idea of all the times Yamaguchi has held himself back, or made himself miserable because of those stupid few words. He has no idea that those words have haunted him from the minute he realised he had feelings for his friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's exactly the point!" He surprises himself by yelling. "We're friends! The things I want to tell you aren't things you'd say to a friend!" It feels good to finally watch the realisation dawn, for the penny to drop, to watch in real time as he took a wrecking ball to his friendship with Tsukishima. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Say them to me." Tsukishima's lips are parted, and his eyes are pleading. "Please."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I- I love you, Tsukki." And then the tears start. He can barely make Tsukki out through the water, and he wonders if this is what Tsukishima's eyesight is like without his glasses, before he realises that this is not the time for that. "Please don't hate me." He sniffles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Never." Tsukishima breathes, and strokes his hair comfortingly. Suddenly, Yamaguchi is back in time, his hand pressed against Tsukishima's again. The static that ran through Yamaguchi then pales in comparison to the feeling of Tsukishima's fingers in his hair. "I love you too Tadashi."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything grinds to a halt. "You what?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't make me say it again." Yamaguchi realises that Tsukishima's face is on fire. He smiles dopily. "I spoke to Daichi last night, and I had this whole confession speech planned out, but you beat me to it." He matches Yamaguchi's wide grin. "You really do walk ahead of me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wait. You spoke to Daichi about this?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes? What of it?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I spoke to Suga last night!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You told me already."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"They were together last night! They fucking planned this shit together!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima takes a hand out of Yamaguchi's hair to slap his face. "I should have known. They like to meddle too much for their own good."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi spent the rest of the day contentedly brewing up complicated revenge plans from inside Tsukishima's arms, which were all immediately shot down by Tsukishima. Although, he did like the idea of not showing up to practice and pretending that they died, but that probably had more to do with the "not showing up to practice" part.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After Tsukishima points out that any plan that hinges on Hinata would be doomed to fail, they lapse into contented silence, only for Yamaguchi to break it a few seconds later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So we're boyfriends, right?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I thought we were best friends?" Tsukishima pretends to be confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Too soon."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shut up Tadashi."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry Kei."</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank u sm for reading!!! ily!!</p><p>can u guys tell i just kinda,, threw a dart at a board to decide whether to use tsukki or tsukishima,,, </p><p>i hope u have a nice day and that you remember to drink water!!!!</p><p>&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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